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Not a Thing (Daniel/Vala Amat-Verse, PG13)
Daniel stayed in bed, enjoying making the most of what had turned out to be an unexpectedly exhausting Wednesday morning, even as Vala, not uncharacteristically, rushed around her bedroom in her bra and panties, hoping to get herself together in time for work.
Pausing as she shimmied on a pair of shorts, she gazed across the room at him. Her face scrunched into a frown. “Daniel, do we have a thing?”
“Sorry, what?” Daniel had been doing his best not to watch her prance around the room half naked, and had done so by distracting himself with a pile of Brennan's notes from the dig. The question was enough to completely throw him for a loop.
“A thing.” She finished pulling up her shorts and plopped down onto the bed next to him. “Do we have one?”
“Vala, what are you talking about?”
She sighed and began to work her mass of hair into pigtails, a look of concern plastered on her face. “Well, I was speaking to Colonel Sheppard the other day and he seems to think we have a thing.” She flipped one successfully tamed bundle of hair behind one shoulder, and Daniel tried not to zone out on the lace cut of her bra against her smooth skin. “But I'm not entirely sure I know what a thing is.”
Daniel balked and shook his head. “You talked to Sheppard about us?”
“Don't worry, I informed him that we only engage in casual, emotionless sex when completely necessary -”
“Oh, God.” He didn't have to be worried about being distracted by her body anymore, because his head was buried in his hands.
“... but he seemed to be under the impression that it was a thing.” She finished her hair and popped up again, retrieving her well worn sneakers and a pair of socks that Daniel wasn't entirely sure were even clean.
He was watching her again, this time with a interest leagues away from anything sexual. It was mostly just confusion. “Vala, we don't have a thing. We're two friends and colleagues who look out for each other. Unfortunately, here, that requires that we...”
At his pause, she rolled her eyes theatrically. “You can say it. Have sex.”
His own eyes narrowed at her, and he clutched the papers in his hands, trying to control his temper. “It requires we have sex in order to maintain each others survival. That's just the way things are.”
She stared at him. “So we don't have a thing?”
“No!”
“Okay, then.” She popped up off the bed, rifling through a pile of laundry on the floor. Daniel wondered briefly if he could train her to actually hang up her clothes. Or at the least, have her learn to fold them. “I'll inform Colonel Sheppard then that his sexual advances are not at all infringing upon your so-called territory when it comes to our personal and professional relationship.”
“Wait, WHAT?”
Her backside was still in the air, waving around as she tossed clothes every which way. “Colonel Sheppard is also my friend and colleague. I don't see why I shouldn't sleep with him, too.”
Daniel pinched his nose and counted to ten in his head. “Vala, you can't sleep with Sheppard.”
She finally straightened up, one of her Out of the Gutter shirts hanging unceremoniously from her fist, and she gave him what seemed to be a genuinely confused look. “Why not?”
“Because... Because it's weird. You can't just go sleeping with everyone you work with.”
“But you said we don't have a thing.”
“It's not a thing!” He clenched his teeth, fighting to lower his voice. “It's an... arrangement. One that you really should consider not complicating by sleeping with half the people I know!”
“But we already have sex with other people.”
“That's not... my point, Vala, just. Don't.”
She smirked, pulling the shirt on over her head and tying up the ends that she and KC had modified to expose vast amounts of midriff. Once she'd adjusted her top, she shot him a stern glare. “You're jealous.”
“I'm not jealous, I'm... cautious. On you're behalf, obviously. For as flippant you are about it, sex inherently connects two people on a basic, instinctual level, and it's probably better if you don't tempt it by getting involved consistently with people you work with.” Well, it had sounded good in his head, anyway.
She grabbed her purse and started shoving things into it. Then Vala crawled onto the bed and gave Daniel a peck on the cheek, and he made a show of grimacing. “Come on, Daniel,” she whispered. “It's not as if we're going to remember any of this once we get home.” She hopped off the bed again and made her way to the doorway.
“There's no certainty to that. Either way, it wouldn't hurt if you practiced a little... modesty.” He stared at her shirt.
Pausing in the doorway, she turned her head halfway to him, smirking as she pulled the door open. “Colonel O'Neill didn't seem to agree.”
“WAIT, WHAT?”
“See ya!” She yelled as she vanished down the hallway.
Daniel groaned and flopped his head back onto the pillow. It still smelled like her.
Pausing as she shimmied on a pair of shorts, she gazed across the room at him. Her face scrunched into a frown. “Daniel, do we have a thing?”
“Sorry, what?” Daniel had been doing his best not to watch her prance around the room half naked, and had done so by distracting himself with a pile of Brennan's notes from the dig. The question was enough to completely throw him for a loop.
“A thing.” She finished pulling up her shorts and plopped down onto the bed next to him. “Do we have one?”
“Vala, what are you talking about?”
She sighed and began to work her mass of hair into pigtails, a look of concern plastered on her face. “Well, I was speaking to Colonel Sheppard the other day and he seems to think we have a thing.” She flipped one successfully tamed bundle of hair behind one shoulder, and Daniel tried not to zone out on the lace cut of her bra against her smooth skin. “But I'm not entirely sure I know what a thing is.”
Daniel balked and shook his head. “You talked to Sheppard about us?”
“Don't worry, I informed him that we only engage in casual, emotionless sex when completely necessary -”
“Oh, God.” He didn't have to be worried about being distracted by her body anymore, because his head was buried in his hands.
“... but he seemed to be under the impression that it was a thing.” She finished her hair and popped up again, retrieving her well worn sneakers and a pair of socks that Daniel wasn't entirely sure were even clean.
He was watching her again, this time with a interest leagues away from anything sexual. It was mostly just confusion. “Vala, we don't have a thing. We're two friends and colleagues who look out for each other. Unfortunately, here, that requires that we...”
At his pause, she rolled her eyes theatrically. “You can say it. Have sex.”
His own eyes narrowed at her, and he clutched the papers in his hands, trying to control his temper. “It requires we have sex in order to maintain each others survival. That's just the way things are.”
She stared at him. “So we don't have a thing?”
“No!”
“Okay, then.” She popped up off the bed, rifling through a pile of laundry on the floor. Daniel wondered briefly if he could train her to actually hang up her clothes. Or at the least, have her learn to fold them. “I'll inform Colonel Sheppard then that his sexual advances are not at all infringing upon your so-called territory when it comes to our personal and professional relationship.”
“Wait, WHAT?”
Her backside was still in the air, waving around as she tossed clothes every which way. “Colonel Sheppard is also my friend and colleague. I don't see why I shouldn't sleep with him, too.”
Daniel pinched his nose and counted to ten in his head. “Vala, you can't sleep with Sheppard.”
She finally straightened up, one of her Out of the Gutter shirts hanging unceremoniously from her fist, and she gave him what seemed to be a genuinely confused look. “Why not?”
“Because... Because it's weird. You can't just go sleeping with everyone you work with.”
“But you said we don't have a thing.”
“It's not a thing!” He clenched his teeth, fighting to lower his voice. “It's an... arrangement. One that you really should consider not complicating by sleeping with half the people I know!”
“But we already have sex with other people.”
“That's not... my point, Vala, just. Don't.”
She smirked, pulling the shirt on over her head and tying up the ends that she and KC had modified to expose vast amounts of midriff. Once she'd adjusted her top, she shot him a stern glare. “You're jealous.”
“I'm not jealous, I'm... cautious. On you're behalf, obviously. For as flippant you are about it, sex inherently connects two people on a basic, instinctual level, and it's probably better if you don't tempt it by getting involved consistently with people you work with.” Well, it had sounded good in his head, anyway.
She grabbed her purse and started shoving things into it. Then Vala crawled onto the bed and gave Daniel a peck on the cheek, and he made a show of grimacing. “Come on, Daniel,” she whispered. “It's not as if we're going to remember any of this once we get home.” She hopped off the bed again and made her way to the doorway.
“There's no certainty to that. Either way, it wouldn't hurt if you practiced a little... modesty.” He stared at her shirt.
Pausing in the doorway, she turned her head halfway to him, smirking as she pulled the door open. “Colonel O'Neill didn't seem to agree.”
“WAIT, WHAT?”
“See ya!” She yelled as she vanished down the hallway.
Daniel groaned and flopped his head back onto the pillow. It still smelled like her.